23. The Jordan Year. Sigh. It’s quite an odd age, stuck right in between the rites of passage that come along with turning 21 and the stress-ridden ‘what am I doing with my life’ that comes with being a quarter of a century. I may not be ripe with old age and wisdom, but I have learned a thing or two from surviving high school, college, moving away from home, and completing half of a graduate degree. I think that accounts for the knowledge and familiarity that accompanies growing older and more experienced.
I strive to age gracefully, to grow more internally beautiful as the years trudge on, and become more of the woman God created me to be with every step I take.
1. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. Nothing in life will ever be handed to you. You’re not going to wake up with success in your lap. A lot of the triumphs I’ve had in life are because I mustered up the courage to ask for something more, even if it wasn’t readily in front of me.
It’s not you, it’s me. You see, I’ve always been a little restless. My head was in the clouds dreaming up my next adventure or conjuring up a story that allowed me to travel past your constricted dimensions. My head was always delved into a book that enabled me to explore lands beyond the coordinates you defined for me. For most you would have been sufficient, but for me, I did not see how it would work out long term. Maybe it was my curiosity that led me to leave, but I soon started to feel like you were a sweater that was a little too tight. My physicality outgrew you, my mind too fixated on a map of endless possibility. Maybe I’m ungrateful. Maybe I’m selfish. Maybe I just knew what the future could hold.
You were predictable, safe, warm. I could foresee the way the wind would blow and encompass me in its embrace. I had to move away, first to college and then to grad school, to see if we were meant for one another. I thought a long distance relationship would...
I’ll be honest. Post-grad life is scary. Actually, it’s downright terrifying. If you would’ve asked me a year ago where I envisioned myself now, I would probably rattle off a series of exclamation point worthy excitements. Job! Grad school! New city! Adventures! New people! Adulthood! Fun! Freedom!
As I detailed more in WhatI Wish I Knew about Grad School, post-grad life wasn’t actually as glamorous as I originally anticipated. It was about a year ago that I walked across the commencement stage with a glimmer in my eye and a dollar and a dream. Throughout my undergraduate years, I changed in my temperament, my beliefs, my goals,my style, while still keeping the embedded core of what defined my values and characteristics, with a little fine tuning(aka learning that white eyeshadow is NOT attractive). I was exiting a stage that I entered so fragile and frail with a better understanding of how my experiences, my upbringing, and my decisions shaped me into an accomplished woman. I thought,...